Oliver. 25. Vancouver BC.
QUEER, FEMME, TRANS/GENDERQUEER, ACTIVIST.
Critical of: Oppression, Racism, Cultural Appropriation, Fat Phobia, Ableism, Classism, Rape Culture. Supports: Decolonization, Trans*-Positive Feminism, Sex-Worker Rights, Queer/ Trans Anarchism/ Punk Culture, Immigrant Rights, Prison Justice. Other Interests: Self Care, Mental Health, Body Positivity, Vegan/Hypoglycemic nutrition, Transition Documentation, Femme/Queer/ Gayboy* Fashions. NSFW

→ Sex Positivity is Rape Culture in Disguise

hopelessly-romantic-cynic:

eateroftrees:

[Trigger Warning: Rape, Rape Culture discussed at link]

Or, in which I attempt to alienate all my followers.

Mostly it discusses ways in which rape culture and sex positivity intersect, especially for people who are less sexual then is normative, such as asexual people, gray-asexual people, people with sex related triggers, people with autism who get completely overwhelmed by sex, etc.

This has some very good points and the last paragraph is really strong; however, I think it got sketchy in some points. I’m having trouble putting into words some of the things that I think are sketchy, but these are the three main things:

1. “Sex is good”/”sex-positive” does not inherently lead to, “Not having sex is bad.” That’s a false dichotomy. There are lots of things in this world that I consider “good”, but that doesn’t mean that I would think there was something wrong with someone who didn’t like those things. I think that lizardwalk said this better than I did.
2. There is absolutely no excuse to shame someone for needing to unfollow for any reason, whether it’s safety or just not enjoying posts or anything else, but saying that people need create an entire other blogs for sex is actually pretty sex-negative. It puts sex in this little space like it’s some shameful thing that can’t be seen on a “regular” blog, effectively othering sexual activity. Content warnings for people with triggers: more than acceptable, it’s the right thing to do on any post that may trigger someone; saying that all sexual imagery should be on blogs specifically dedicated to porn: unacceptable othering and shaming.
3. Not all internalized sex-negativity is only a personal thing, just like any internalized message. Internalized cissexism hurts other trans* people the moment that the trans* person who internalized the messages communicates those anti-trans* messages. Internalized sizism hurts other fat people the moment the fat person communicates anti-fat messages. Unless the person who internalized the sex-negative messages is hyper-aware of the internalization and manages to somehow keep those messages from being communicated to other people, they will inevitably hurt other people with their internalized sex-negativity. People should be more understanding of a marginalized person who has internalized bigoted messages that hurt them, but that doesn’t require anyone to ignore the damage the person did/has done/could do.

I do agree that there needs to be something to replace “enthusiastic consent”, though, and it’s pretty busted to appropriate erotophobia to use as a term for sex-negativity. Like I said, there are some really good points in this post.

this is food for thought for me. i think it’s an important read for some of the ideas in it. just not so into the way it’s written. i’d prefer to take these ideas and write about them from a positive, empowering place for people who have experienced these things.

(Source: thenameoftheworms, via trans-terrific-deactivated20121)

#sex #Sex Positive #sex positivity #asexuality #rape culture #porn #consent

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